Merry Chanukamas and Happy New Year!

My life has changed in way I could have never foreseen.  Life is weird sometimes… I figure even with medical science where it is today… (assuming 2012 isn’t the end for all of us) with my proclivity for bacon… I’m about at the mid-way point for my life… or close to it.  Nothing is exactly as I pictured it 10 years ago.  It’s nowhere near what I pictured 20 years ago… still no hoverboard!  Damn you Zemekis!

But overall I think I’m in pretty good shape.  I am very thankful for all of my friends, all of the opportunities I’ve been given and all the love I have in my life today.  Here’s to 2010 being a great year!

And now… what you’ve all been waiting for… the Reversible Panda’s Best Internet Videos of 2009 (disclaimer: while some of these videos appeared prior to 2009 I believe all of them had their rise to fame and popularity in the past year):

10. Sittin’ on a Toilet

9. Charlie Bit Me (Auto-tuned)

8. Love of bacon pushes fat kid to the edge

7. Muppet Bohemian Rhapsody

6. Pumpkin head dancer

5. Lip-sync Kid (2 parter since he nabbed on appearance on the news too)

4. Little Wings

3. Keep Fucking That Chicken

2. Drunk guy singing and smoking in the shower

1. David After Dentist

I thought it unfair to put some of these against heavyweights like “David After Dentist,” so I decided to give them their own list…

The Reversible Panda’s Cutest Internet Videos of 2009:

10: Maru and the Giant Box

9: Teach me Tiger Cub

8: Two Dogs, One Cockroach (technically it’s a Beetle, but who cares)

7: A Funeral for Lucky

6: Frenchie Can’t Roll Over

5: Baby thinks Wii Golf is hilarious

4. Drench Clever Hamsters Jazz Band

3. Surprised Kitty

2. Baby Elephant Sneeze

1. Kittens Inspired By Kittens

Pretty good on this end

I’ve been swamped lately with work.  Sorry for the mini-hiatus (only mini compared to the length of time that I’ve disappeared in the past).  Overall it’s been a good kind of swamped though… just gearing up for this next big project… once it launches I will post it here for all of you guys to check out.

Being that I am a bit of an armchair neuropsychologist as most regular readers know… I always love sharing links like this because I honestly believe that the human brain IS the undiscovered country.  Yeah, we’re exploring space and there is an argument for staying on this planet and figuring it out first… for God’s sake 95% of the underwater world here on earth is unexplored.  95%!!!!! And while I will be the first to admit that Margaret Mead totally fabricated the idea that we only use 10% of our brains, there is still a fuck’of’a'lot that we can’t figure out about them:

When brains attack

Ok… enough smart-talk… let’s get naked.  Sure a world record is impressive… but… wouldn’t it be more impressive if you did it while naked:

Naked world records

I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I still have a lot of these at home.  And by at home I mean at my parents house and in my ‘grown-up’ apartment:

The weirdest M.U.S.C.L.E. men

I love mash-ups and this is a whole new style of mash-up.  I really hope it catches on… because it might be my favorite.  They basically replaced all the dialogue with lines that still fit the actors lips.  It makes me realize how difficult the art of lip reading must be:

Nothing to report

Busy with lots of stuff… things happening… enjoy your day.

Officially my favorite thing of the day:

Worst thing

Japanese people are ruthless when it comes to hidden camera pranks… case in point… they usually involve making someone thing they’re about to die:

Funny.

Here in A-Muh-rikA!  We’re a bit simpler:

While I don’t mean for the RP (Reversible Panda) to become a video only blog… as evidenced by the video above… there are just too many weird ass things that people will put on youtube… this next one is admittedly stupid, but I have to admit I’ve never seen anyone do it like this… How to Eat a Chicken Wing:

For those of you who aren’t blessed to live in NY and experience the joy that is chinatown, I will explain this in the simplest terms possible.  You know that movie that’s coming out next summer that you’re really excited to see?  You can already buy a bootleg of it in chinatown… and they haven’t even finished shooting it yet.  It really is incredible.  The photoshop wizards they have designing the DVD covers however… occasionally miss the mark… by a lot:

15 Worst DVD Bootleg covers of all time

Long live monkey goat

Like most philosophical debates… I was speaking with my friend Fred about theology and atheism and the discussion inevitably culminated in his sending me a link to this video:

Long live monkey goat.

Ok… Fred wins the finding weird shit on the internet award for the day… I’m running on empty and he just followed up monkey goat with, “Girls on Skateboards”

Put on your cuteness goggles… I’ve been waiting for us, as a people, to domesticate wolves for some time now, and it seems aside from Lorenzo Lamas, the Latin Wolf, we have made no strides.  This gives me hope and tides me over:

Dog adopts wolf cub

There are a ton of mash-ups all over the internets of clips from movies and cool techno songs made with soundbytes… but this is the first one I’ve seen that actually uses the dialog from movies to make the (rhyming I might add) lyrics to the songs:

Against good judgement

Here it is… a clip from yesterdays Tyra… I’m the one that looks like a schmuck but doesn’t buy the 3 words:

Tyra

Three hours from my writing this, the episode of Tyra on which I appear will air.  7 hours from my writing this I will be on stage in the West Village playing an alcoholic party clown.  And you thought your life was weird.

There are sprinkles of me throughout the preview for todays episode on the Tyra show, you can blame Tyra’s stylist for giving me Kate Gosselin’s hairdo:

Tyra’s 3 Words Episode

A lot of kids seem to think that if they doodle on their school notebooks and have vivid imaginations, one day they will make comic books for a living.  That lasted about an hour for me in the third grade.  But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun making your own comic strips.  I made this little piece of art in about 5 minutes.

Can you top that?  Probably… Stop judging and make your own:

Marvel Create Your Own Comic

Because I like smooth segues, the fact of the matter is comics can be about whatever you want.  Hell, Aquaman has been around for decades and he can’t do shit:

Aquaman comics if Aquaman realized how much Aquaman sucks

Years ago I posted something about the Russian doctor who was transplanting dog heads, and the powder that regrew a thumb… science marches on… I found this list of those and 23 other things that will make your brain melt:

25 Horrifically real science experiments

I don’t have to explain why this is here do I?

Bacon art

The internet has created some interesting things usually the product of someone ith a lot of time on their hands… this is no exception but is exceptionally cool.  The Pulp Fiction audio mash-up:

What can I say?  I’m a Muff-fan:

Mormon Muffin Calendar

Next week is… to be determined…

So 1 week from yesterday… Wednesday the 28th is the night of the Dare Project, I’ll be playing a retired alcoholic party clown.  Weird right?  Weirder still… it is also the day my episode of Tyra will be airing… check local listings… I only have about 10 seconds of camera time as I answer one question posed to me by Tyra and there will be a montage of the mixer I attended, I apologize in advance if I look like a tool… I probably will, they bought me drinks what could I do?  Anyway… I look forward to everyone making fun of me and rightly so… I agreed to be on Tyra for Chrissakes.

If you are in NY come to the Dare project that night and make fun of me in person after the show:

Dare Project

Moving on to less personal matters… in a way… Confession time… I have never really been a “boob guy.”  That’s not to say I didn’t appreciate them… but lately I’ve been admiring them a bit more… not in like a dirty way… ok well a dirty way… I’m not a pervert or anything, I’m just saying I have developed an affinity for them… not affinity… maybe fondness… I’ll stop talking:

10 Hottest D-cup celebrities

I am contractually obligated to mention this since I found it… I cannot recommend it to anyone, but I may have to buy it, if you beat me to it, please let me know how it is:

Spreadable bacon jam

Put on your awesome hats cus this site is exactly what it says it is:

Rad Dudes

Sorry… I know it’s a short one today… but I got things to do, so you’ll take what I give you and be happy with it… I’ll leave you with this though:

One of those mornings…

I really, really didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.  It has finally turned just cold enough that the shift from under the covers to out of the bed is bearable only after a good 45 minutes of hitting snooze and grunting. The trains were all messed up and when I stopped at the bodega to get coffee I had to wait 5 minutes while the one deli guy made 3 hero sandwiches for other people.  Seriously what the hell are you doing eating ham, turkey and cheese on a hero at 1030 in the morning.  Though I must admit I smiled after watching the guy put 4 slices of cheese on one hero prompting the customer to say, “That’s it?  I put more cheese on a mouse trap.”

I’ve posted links like this before, but when I find pages like this I can’t help but pass them along.  It’s kind of wonderful to look at Linda Beatty, the playmate the month I was born.  I have to say that minus the 70’s hairstyling (and I’m not talking about on her head) she still holds up as attractive today…:

Every playmate 1953-2008

In fairness to the ladies… here’s a video with some male naughty bits (just drawings… if they were real penii (yes, that’s the plural of penis) that would be gross):

Office Dick Mystery

Ok… the last link of questionable taste for the day… only because it stars Alan Tudyk (of Firefly and Dodgeball fame) and my favorite pornstar Belladonna (of Asstravaganza and Booty Duty 11 fame):

PG Porn – High Poon

Here’s kind of a two for one link… firstly the video… a frog on a motorcycle.  Can it get better than that?  Yes.  Yes it can… it’s on a website which will take any youtube video and replace the audio with the Benny Hill music.  FTW:

Benny Hill Frog on a Motorcycle

We all know that I’m obsessed with the limits of the human body… or maybe we don’t… point is technology is always improving us.  I am the type who is worried that people are going to hack into his webcam  so the idea that someone is having his eye replaced with a camera is terrifying:

Building a superhuman

Enter Sandman by Metallica… as told by cats… that is all:

Among other things

So… it has been… a while… here’s what’s been going on with me… I quit my restaurant job back at the end of August. I am now working for a website… (more on that later when we launch to the public)… I was interviewed on the Tyra Banks show (more on that when I find out when it’s airing… maybe… I haven’t decided if it’s something I am ashamed of yet)… and I shot my first national commercial campaign… more on that right here:

Now before you watch this… I pop up once at about midway through pointing at a sign that says “Boston,” and then I get the button line at the end regarding the limp pizza in my hand… I know, I know, it’s all very exciting… check it out and be in awe of my years of theatre training:

NHL Center Ice

These guys won a talent show which for lack of bi-lingualism I will call Denmark’s Got Talent.  I have now watched a bunch of their you tube videos… I’ll leave it to you to see if you want to do an all out search for them after watching the one clip… I just love this stuff… I give you Nick & Jeppe:

Sometimes people have brilliant ideas when they are on mind altering substances… Salvador Dali once claimed, “I am drugs.”  Thomas Pynchon was rumored to have written Gravity’s Rainbow while on acid… there is now a site for people to log their “brilliant” ideas that come to them when they are high.  While revelations like, “i think all things in the world should be made of carpet. that way, instead of like, breaking bones, or shit like that, all you get is rug burn,” and, “What if there were bullets that healed you when you got shot by them? You could help sick people by shooting them!” aren’t Gravity’s Rainbow… they certainly are entertaining:

Highdeas

Speaking of things people come up with when they are high…

Get On My Horse

Color me surprised… turns out I am a fun-lover after all:

How do you hold your drink?

Sometimes we all need a pep talk… this is a great, all-purpose, get pumped-up mash-up of famous movie motivational speeches:

I will use those speeches to motivate me to come back to writing more often.  In the meantime, let me know if you’re still reading and enjoying and I will try to get back to updating regularly.   Hope you are all well.

Just a quickie

I’ve been laughing about this all week… which is awful… because drugs are bad.. especially if you’re 7.