Just a quickie
February 8, 2009
I’ve been laughing about this all week… which is awful… because drugs are bad.. especially if you’re 7.
Mmm… eyeballs.
January 19, 2009
You know what I say to someone who pulls out their own eye and eats it? I say, “Sir, you clearly have some issues, you should go to a mental institution where you can speak to a professional about said issues.” You know what Texas says? Prison. You know what Texas says after he pulls out his other eye and eats it?
You would assume the guy above would have no problem eating any of these things… whereas I… who is relatively sane… would not touch these with a fork or a 30 foot pole:
In keeping with the horrifying things theme today… ever wanted to know what it would feel like to smash your hand with a hammer but don’t really want to deal with the messy aftermath…:
Hallucinate by hacking your brain
I always liked Patton Oswalt… and now I know that we are kindered spirits… his blog entry put into words what I’ve never been able to:
Happpy New Year
January 1, 2009
That’s right… 3 p’s… That’s how freakin happy… or maybe it’s a stutter brought on by the fact that it was 14 degrees here in New York for the new year.
Just wanted to stop in and say I’ve been sick and trying to work things out as usual. I figured January 1st 2009 is as good a time as any to remind you why you stop in here occasionally… because I find the next big ridiculous thing on the internet before anyone else does. (So ridiculous that it actually made my girl smile after The Wrestler gave her perma-sad (side note… see The Wrestler))
And here on the first day of the new year I bring you…
Hamster on a Piano
Popeye’s Chicken and Fledging
November 24, 2008
What you see above is a fried chicken wing I purchased from Popeye’s Famous Chicken and Biscuits in Long Island City, NY. Attached to said wing you will see not one but two feathers. These bad boys survived the de-feathering process (which consists by the way, of the carcasses being strapped to a conveyor line and run through a machine of rubber “fingers” designed to beat off feathers. The limp bodies are moved through a sequence of machines, each optimized for removing different sets of feathers. At this point the carcasses are usually singed by passing through a flame that burns off any remaining feathers… giggle… I said, ““beat off” feathers.”), dissection of the flesh, shipping, freezing, and flash frying.
The photos were taken because of my abject disgust at their existence.
As my friend Richard pointed out by humorously personifying the feathers… they watched as their friends were ripped from their host, they watched the removal of the limb they call home, and just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse, they were covered in batter and fried.
I thought, I’m going to complain, this is repugnant… then I realized… what do I have to complain about?
Dear Popeye’s,
I was saddened to open my box of chicken only to be reminded that the thing I was eating used to be a living breathing bird. In the future I hope that you do not give me an aide-memoire of my own foods mortality. Know that in the coming months I will only be eating chicken strips from your establishment so I can continue to maintain the illusion that chicken comes from some kind of food tree you keep in a warehouse.
Thank you,
Reversible Panda
Maybe the feathers make it healthy… that’s no stranger than the stuff some people believe:
7 Food myths the internet thinks are true
I have developed a new crush… this girl is on a cable network called G4, because of her little watched cable channel status, she joins women like Giada De Laurentiis (number 2 on this list – 20 Hottest celebrity chefs)as a woman who is the sole reason I watch the network they are on:
10 Hottest Olivia Munn moments
I, as most actors do, am often complaining that I need a new headshot… I’m very happy with the one I’m using now… even happier when I realize how bad it could be:
I don’t think I have any real phobias.. I just get extremely uncomfortable around people wearing silly hats:
We have only 60 days left to the Bush presidency… the only downside I see to that is my friend James will get less work… you may recognize him as the Bush from Harold and Kumar… :
Reminds of the time I got stopped at the little xray machine because I forgot I had a pair of handcuffs in my bag… long story:
Hallowed ween
October 31, 2008
It’s just about 1am on Halloween…
I didn’t go out because frankly I wear a costume everyday at work, and I just don’t feel like being social. I’m going to watch the DVR’d Office and go to bed.
I’ve been kind of a hermit the past couple of weeks working on some personal things, trying to spend more time by myself… I have a friend in town this weekend and another one coming next week so I will be a little more social but then I may return to hermit-land.
I just thought I would pop in and give an update… sorry it wasn’t anything exciting, but it’s part of my masterplan to become more boring.
So as to not be entirely solipsistic I should put something here to make it worth your while to stop by… and these make me smile more than they should… not just 80s videos but 80s videos with new lyrics to match the video:
I don’t really know what to say…
October 9, 2008
Well, hectic doesn’t even begin to describe my life lately. Confusing… that’s a better start. It’s been almost a month since I went AWOL, and I apologize for that. I’m still not done clearing my head
- I just spent 10 minutes staring at the blinking cursor after I wrote that last line… if that’s not proof that my head is cluttered, I don’t know what is… I better just get on with it.
My friend Robin sent this to me and I thought I should post it here because not only is it adorable but it is wildly apropos to the blog and my life right now… A lot can change in 120 days of a panda:
A sunrise on the beach
September 15, 2008
It’s 6 in the morning… I’m on my vacation in Florida… I’ve been up since 4:30… not sure why… the girl is still sleeping but I’m going to wake her in a minute to go watch the sunrise.
My life is changing a lot and rapidly at that… I just didn’t want you guys to think I’d abandoned you.
The plan for tomorrow is Universal Studios… I’m going to ride the Simpsons, and the Mummy about 50 times. Wednesday night back to NY. Thursday work a full day shift, then work the opening night party for Tale of Two Cities on Broadway. So at least I will be able to rid myself of all that pesky relaxing that I’m doing these four days by nose diving straight into 2 jobs when I get back.
While it is parody, this is the way we’re headed and it scares me:
85 Works of art improved by technology
The Shining remains the best one ever done:
You may tell me you don’t have any desire to watch a monkey take a shower in a sink… then I may call you a fool or a liar:
Heck, it’s much easier than sitting through all 6 of them:
Remember me?
September 9, 2008
Sorry I’ve been away so long… it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Everything will be cool though. Going to Florida next week. Hit the beach. Pray for no hurricanes. I kinda need the vacation.
ELECTROLYTES!!!!!!
What’s better than an action movie? An action movie with a hot chick:
It’s actually easy to confuse the two:
Christian Bale or Kermit the frog?
When I become president, I wonder what I will be remembered for?:
It’s ma birfday
August 24, 2008
It’s my birthday this Wednesday. You’ll forgive me for making it a movie week… I’ve got other things to do…
Probably more accurate then we’d like to believe… but kudos to them for actually using these scenarios in their advertising:
Another video clip… in the same realm as the other in terms of disturbing content… but this one is a full short film called The Rabbit that uses illustrations from kids books to create a pretty amazing and upsetting little story:
All the Rage
August 18, 2008
Since I spoke with you all last, I have been to Six Flags Great America and Coney Island. Before you get angry and say, “This is why you haven’t been posting regularly?!?!,” let me tell you… yes. I really needed both of those…
I’ve been on a couple of auditions, worked a whole buncha hours, saw some shows and occasionally slept.
One of the shows I saw was at Manhattan Theatre Source… it’s called All the Rage, it’s a very very dark comedy and it’s violent… so of course I highly recommend it… they only have a week left, you can get tickets at http://www.theatresource.org/
Now I must go to work… sorry again for the hiatus… but I’m feeling a little better… except for the fact that I will be <ahem> years old in 9 days… wow…
I find manatees so much more attractive now… they maybe the sexiest things in the animal kingdom:
Every year there comes an article with this headline… and yet I still haven’t been able to buy one… if I had, I would have seen at least a billion and 5 manatees by now… at the very least I would have seen Scarlett Johanssen’s manatees:
Invisibility cloak becomes reality
Sesame Street just began it’s 39th season… this years guest stars… Amy Winehouse and Kim Kardashian:
Sesame Street’s questionable celebrity guests
A man who has sex with cows… f’d up. A man who cuts the eyes out of cows before having sex with them… seriously f’d up. A man who eats the same brand of cookies while de-eyeing, raping, and killing cows… priceless:
Okay, after that one this one will seem a little less disgusting… I have to post it because not only is it the biggest list of euphemisms I’ve ever seen… but the term, “fish mitten,” made me laugh out loud for 3 minutes:
More words for a vagina than you’ve ever needed
If you are a regular reader, you know what’s coming next… if I post something questionable I have to put your fears to rest… I am not going to hell.. the bible is much worse:
6 depraved sex acts from the bible
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I would find a package of Bonkers on the candy shelf, but I must admit I had forgotten all about PB Max… damn that was a good candy square:
10 Most delicious extinct candies
Why don’t things like this happen to the people responsible for movies like Meet the Spartans
Insane true stories behind 6 cursed movies
Nothing better than ice dancing monkeys… except monkeys ice dancing to the Rocky theme:
And this one is not for everyone… not because it’s gross or anything… but it’s pretty impressive stop motion animation by someone who has a lot of toys and a lot of time, and it’s the only time you’ll ever see these superheroes and villains together:
