A sad day
May 6, 2008
Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson engaged? To paraphrase MacDuff, how can I lose one of my crushes and one of my purely hetero-sexual man-crushes all in one fell swoop? I hope they’re happy… and that they’ll invite me over for brunch and to watch them do it. I’m kidding of course. I would not want to watch them do it. It would clearly just make me question my own technique, because with years of yoga and strength training I’m sure Ryan can do things that I can’t fathom. I have officially put too much thought into this and am offended by myself.
With apologies to those who have asked me to refrain from bodily function discussion… Of all things the internet has taught me, this may be the most useful: “Bescumber is just one of many words in the English language that basically mean “to spray with poo”. These are: BEDUNG, BERAY, IMMERD, SHARNY, and the good ol’ SHITTEN. In special cases, you can use BEMUTE (specifically means to drop poo on someone from great height), SHARD-BORN (born in dung), and FIMICOLOUS (living and growing on crap).” Thank you internet:
10 Insulting words you should know
I feel for this seal. He probably tried to get help from his friends and they laughed at him for being different. Just like when I tried to tell my schoolmates about my sexual crush on Smurfette:
A month or two ago I posted a list of the 50 most memorable pin-ups, they’ve added 50 more… but since they didn’t make the first list, I guess they’re not as memorable… I dunno the science behind it, I just know that Monica Bellucci even photographed from behind is still one of the hottest women to ever walk the planet:
50 More most memorable pin-ups
Personally, pin-ups are nice and all… but I’m classy, that’s why I would prefer to hang vintage xxx movie posters from the 50s and 60s in my house:
Vintage porn poster collection
Humanity… god bless us… our own kind starving in the streets and we have several videos of people who can eat a big mac in one bite. Ah… gluttony… my second favorite mortal sin:
I don’t care what anyone says… the ET game for Atari was awesome:
Jesus sure pops up in the strangest places:
Jesus Christ in cornflakes and other odd locales
Again… with apologies to those who have asked me to refrain from bodily function discussion. What’s funnier than diarrhea? Lot’s of things… but the intertubes have provided us with the 10 “funniest” instances (number 7 is why I’m not a doctor):
A treat for a Tuesday, courtesy SNL, In Living Color, and MadTV… mostly SNL:
May 6, 2008 at 10:55 am
If you wanna play the game like that, ok…
You know what’s filled with pus and will leak if you poke it with a needle????
A BLISTER!
May 6, 2008 at 11:03 am
so, i dropped scarlett when she dropped that tom-waits-cover album. seriously? nice boobies, i guess, but recent life has taught me there’s more to the world (probably there is, it’s tricky…it’s like quarks…they definitely exist, but until we can actually photograph them, rather than extrapolate, i won’t believe it with my whole heart…um, so, yeah, more-than-boobies-to-life is like that)…