High School hauntings on Facebook

May 8, 2008

Facebook just got all the more frightening.  I went to high school with this kid named Damon.  His mother was an English teacher at the school and we were in drama club together.  I’ve recently connected to him and several other people that I haven’t seen or heard from since high school.  Damon apparently always had a camera with him and I never noticed it.  He has posted over 100 pictures (and he says, more to come) of the “high school days.”  Looking back, I now know why I had trouble fitting in.  As an example… in one photograph I am wearing white pants, a black turtleneck with a brown Whoppers shirt on top of it, and at the time I also had a very flattering page boy haircut.  If I went back in time I would pretend I didn’t know me.

Here’s more proof that my theory on the sexual paradigm has shifted. The stereotype dictates that men are sex-crazed animals and can’t live without it… I submit this to you, especially the account that, “the woman picked up the family’s 20-pound dog and threw it at the deputy.”:

Unsatisfying sex life causes woman’s meltdown

Sure I enjoy jello. Sure I enjoy breasts. If only there were a way to combine my love of both. Thank you Japan:

Hello Kitty Jello Titty

Women can pretend that farts aren’t funny all they want… but if you put a hidden camera in the ladies room and give Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly a microphone and a fart machine… you’ll find out that they think it’s just as funny as we do:

Cagney & Lacey fun in the ladies room

Just as there is an art to taking a good photograph… there is an art to ruining one:

Photobombing

I’ve walked the walk of fame, and I have to say they missed several more questionable ones than these:

10 Most questionable stars on the walk of fame

Remember that photographer who took the nightmare photos? These trump that in terms of overall creepiness. Aside from making my soul hurt, this article also taught me the interesting tidbit that the ‘living room’ of your house… yeah, that used be called the ‘death room.’:

Memorial photography

Here’s my ish (short for issue.. I’m being hip) with this… Megan’s Law is brilliant… I’m glad it exists… but it is kinda creepy that I can find out if the guy next door touched a kid, but I guess I never need know if he brutally murdered a priest… you see where I’m going with this. Anyway… if you want to (like I did) find out that a guy 2 blocks from you has a prior conviction for touching an 8 year old and see his picture so you can scowl at him in the deli… just type in your zipcode and click away to see mugshots and conviction records for all the registered sex offenders in your neighborhood:

Sex Offender Registry

In the same vein, I wonder if this guy is required to register:

Woman raped over the telephone

In case those 3 links didn’t depress you. Does anyone reading this blog not have a healthy fear of their government? Really? Let me help instill that for you:

Top 10 Declassified Secrets

It takes a pretty spectacular commercial for me to link to it… this is one such advertisement:

Coca-Cola: The Movie

Okay… I want to hang out with John Mayer… he’s pretty cool… and Kristen Bell is in this clip… that’s all I need:

John Mayer’s song writing process

I will see you all tomorrow… I’m almost finished the post so I should get it up first thing in the morning.

Get ready for tomorrows Big Summer Movie post!

2 Responses to “High School hauntings on Facebook”

  1. erik said

    dude. i may never get out of bed. that’s the most depressing blog ever…

  2. pumkins0up said

    I LOVE IT!!! You took 35 minutes of my work life away. Thank you so very much! :D

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