Daring myself to be well

April 2, 2008

Tonight is the Dare Project. I am in one play, a choose your own adventure play written by Dan Schultz, for which I had to learn multiple characters and tracks, because who plays what and where the play goes is all up to a randomly selected audience member. It was a lot easier than it sounds, but there is still a little more anxiety than if I knew what I would be doing tonight… which sounds odd for someone with an extensive improv background to say, but in this case I do still have to be true to the playwright and the directors intentions.

I have written another one of the plays, my dare was to do something Ibsen-esque, but in space. It is a collection of sci-fi and Ibsen jokes that will soar over the audiences heads, but overall I think it’s good for a few laughs. So, maybe I’ll see you there.

For the first few seconds, I thought this was real… the 70’s were strange, thankfully not quite this bad… but very well done commercial:

Disturbing, true, truly disturbing… From the makers of Rapist Glasses… Introducing:

Pedophile Beards

I am sorry for all the video today… but there was apparently a plethora of things going down while I was sick yesterday. I want you to take a trip with me now… to your wildest imagination. Are you there? Ok, now in your wildest imagination… what would you say a man could be arrested for fucking on his front porch near a school? A person? An animal? Your imagination is not wild enough to come up with the answer:

Not since Jordan Pourtier in grade school got me out in kickball for sending one down fast and bouncy, not slow and smooth as requested have I been so appalled:

7 Ballsiest Sports cheats ever

Just so there’s no mistake… you can worship Chuck Norris, or as I suggested last week, Charles Bronson… but the truth is, they are all fools that this man pities. Proof that Mr.T is the messiah:

Mr. T brought a boy out of a coma

Not only does this guy deserve every medal they can give him, but he should get a card that entitles him to free drinks everywhere he goes, and one that when presented to ANY woman, she must sleep with him, no questions asked:

Royal Marine jumps on grenade suffers bloody nose

One of my favorite things about Mad magazine when I was a kid was Al Jaffee’s Fold-In on the back page… I loved them, even though as a child most of them made no sense to me… thankfully the New York Times (of all places) has gathered some and made them interactive so people who didn’t read Mad can bask in their brilliance:

Fold-Ins

We’ve officially gone to crazy town with the internet databases… everyone knows the Internet Movie Database, you may not know about the Internet Broadway Database, or the Celebrity Nudity Database, but know we have the:

Internet Movie Firearm Database

Why? Why? Why?:

The World’s first eyeball tattoo

It’s exactly what it says it is:

Penis Neck Tie

Let’s top today off with a little sexy time… I have to get ready to go do my show… see you tonight… or tomorrow… but first, the 10 Hottest weathergirls:

Mostly boobies with a chance of panties

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