Blog from another Dimension

April 7, 2008

I would like to recommend a book to all of you.  Books are those things with words in them, usually made of paper… they’re like TV but they take longer to get through and are usually more descriptive.  One of my favorite books of all time, Flatland by Edwin Abbott.  It is a story told from the point of view of a square.  Not a square as in greaser slang for a nerd, but an actual square.  The square visits a one dimensional world and no one there can grasp the idea of a 2nd dimension.  The square then meets a sphere who tries to explain the 3rd dimension to him.  If it sounds like Shel Siverstein’s Missing Piece, then I’m not describing it correctly.

I was reading an article on string theory and the existence of other dimensions.  It is hubris to think that something isn’t there just because we can’t see it.  Flatland discusses that and Rudy Rucker, another of my favorite authors writes about it all the time.  In fact Rudy wrote a book called Spaceland (just one of his excellent books, I also recommend Mathematicians in Love)that is an unofficial sequel to Flatland really in which a human being is visited by someone from the 4th dimension and goes on a journey just like the square did.  Anyway… so this article points out that we thought atoms were as far as you could go until someone found quarks inside and now they have this Large Hadron Collider in France that will be operational sometime this year that will theoretically  produce a 4th dimension particle.  Does anyone else think this is a bad idea… I’m not saying some weird squid monster is gonna be pulled through and decimate us all, or that some weird anti-mater will cause a plague or blot out the sun… I’m just saying lets take a moment and think before we fire this bad boy up.

Thankfully other than a few of these (#21 – She tries to set you up with her gay friends), I’ve never really experienced these in any relationship:

100 Reasons you are in the wrong relationship

I’m going to make this #101 on that list… at one point the priest actually tries to communicate telepathically with this poor guy and tell him to just say no:

Goin’ to the chapel

I find a flaw in this writers logic… didn’t give the kid a cell phone because she didn’t want to lose it… apparently not so worried about the child itself:

Why I let my 9 year old ride the subway alone

Between Peter vs. the giant chicken, and Brian vs. Stewie the bookie I’m not sure which is actually better, but I do know that they are the greatest animated fights ever:

10 Best Family Guy fights

This clip from Jimmy Kimmel’s 1000th episode proves two things… Richard Simmons is certifiably insane and everything would be 10% aweseomer if Sam Elliot narrated it:

I hope this list isn’t in order… because I would take issue with Tiger Woods being on it, much less being number one. Don’t get me wrong… he’s amazing, but tough isn’t the descriptor that first comes to mind:

Sports Illustrated’s 25 Toughest Athletes

Not including the brilliant character I invented for the comic I produced in 3rd grade, “Wonder bread Mary and her 10 speed salad shooter,” these would be the best choices for film properties:

7 Comic book superheroes that will never make it into movies

Unofficially, the most useful thing I’ve ever posted:

How to order a beer in 50 different languages

The 3D whale ad takes the cake for me… even over the guy fucking a giant scorpion ad:

50 Most shocking/controversial ad campaigns

Not even if I had been standing for 30 hours straight would I sit in this creepy-ass thing:

Chairman Mao

Here’s what we need… make your own and hold little debates with yourself to help you decide:

Finger puppet candidates

When someone compiles every great action hero quote, I as you, is it any surprise that I’ve seen every single one of these films?:

I was going to try and distance myself from this sort of thing… but due to the inclusion of Yunjin Kim (which winds up being a disappointing scene, which technically shouldn’t be on this list… but nonetheless…), and a bizarre Lucy Liu scene where she gets busy while being bitten by dozens of snakes (what the f#&*??):

10 Best topless Asian actresses

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One Response to “Blog from another Dimension”

  1. Panda said

    I don’t get it. Where are all the unrelated yet witty remarks? Books? Please, after finishing a deeply thought-provoking show like Seussical, the last thing I need is to think any further about the 8th dimension or what have you.

    Sincerely,
    Me.

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