Spring has sprung

April 8, 2008

It is a balmy 44 degrees outside as I write this and already the women of New York have begun to dress like it’s 80. God bless them. I on the other hand am still wearing two shirts, a fleece and a jacket. I like to be prepared. I think my core body temperature has dropped to reptile like numbers. As mammals, we and birds are the only creatures that can regulate our own body temperatures. As I take this step backwards in evolution (you know, if you believe that crazy stuff) I am left to wonder what else is in store. Over the past 30,000 years the human brain has been getting progressively smaller. This isn’t to say Neanderthals were more intelligent than us… I’m just saying it’s possible as they had a lot more wiggle room. I realize that lately my blog has been taking this pharyngula-esque science turn but I’m in one of those phases right now. As human beings we are still above all else animals. Sure we’re not flinging dung at one another (most of us), but why? Gorillas, chimps, and other primates have lived in jungles for eons and have managed to not fuck up their own ecosystem. Us… not so much.

Wow. That was one hell of a tangent I just ran off on. I fully intended to talk about nothing but the skimpy clothing women in NY can’t wait to break out of their closets at the first hint of spring weather and I wind up talking about the superiority of lower primates. I have to start watching more reality tv so I can fit in with society.

Oh, and I’m playing around with the format of the page and the banner… if you feel strongly about any of the new design stuff I’m playing with let me know… but it will probably be changing around a little bit here and there.

I forgot all about Gigolo Jane… she is wicked hot… I would re-watch A.I. if I didn’t already have an appointment to have my soul crushed by a thoroughly disappointing film:

5 Lady bots you probably shouldn’t have sex with

Everything is better with giant meat in the background. Including astronauts, family vacations, and cowboys:

Meatscapes

These are all pretty bad… but I’m pretty sure I could watch #3 on a loop for a few hours without getting bored:

10 Funniest Workout videos

Well, thank God, I been lookin’ everywhere for it. And you say there’s a pet store outside… well… I’ll be tied to a tractor and moose farted!:

Yes, We have ‘coon!

We’re spoiled now that just about anyone can upload their embarrassment straight to the internet for mass consumption… there was a day when we would have to wait for odd people to drive down to their local tv station and cough up the dough to give them some air time. Thankfully someone recorded those events and uploaded them to the intertubes so future generations can feel the pain:

10 “Best” Public Access TV Moments of the 80s

Want some new fonts to play with? These guys have over 7000 for PC & Mac:

DaFont

Even if the doctor is right with her theory on how Mirin Dajo did his trick… I am still way more impressed by this guy than I will ever be by David Blaine:

I would furnish my entire house with those bean bag chairs:

Rejected Star Wars Merchandise

If you move to Singapore, you want this guy to be your friend:

Best name ever

Unfortunately this list does not include the origins of the phrase, “the cat’s ass.” According to urban dictionary, it is akin to saying, “bee’s knees,” or “dog’s bollocks.” I still prefer the cat’s ass because I firmly believe that the feline rectum houses all the mysteries of the universe:

10 Origins of Bizarre Sayings

This brings to mind the greatest line I’ve ever heard delivered in a porn film (not that I watch pornography),” I had to eat it.” In a close second, spoken in a thick European accent, “I want to take care of you.” I may be paraphrasing, and I’m sure Tim will correct me, but the jist of it is with the accent it sounds more like, “I gwaana tek car ovv gwyu.”:

10 “Best” performances in porn

Speaking of porn, here are some paper dolls for that cross-section of the populace that is old enough to enjoy naked cartoon chicks, while still enjoying playing dress-up with paper dolls:

Penthouse Paper Dolls

I’m just starting out teaching myself how to use photoshop but I’m fairly certain I can do a better job than these people who are supposedly being paid to give Beyonce three arms:

Photoshop blunders in media

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4 Responses to “Spring has sprung”

  1. Panda said

    I don’t like the new setup. There’s not enough angst and darkness for your recently philosophicallly angsty blog.
    Xoxo
    me

  2. erik said

    i have a job for data-girl…

  3. Provider said

    Fonts are way too small. Books and newspapers, you know, those things usually made of paper and helded together, have larger fonts; making them easier to read.

  4. Stephanie said

    Thanks for the font website. I’m always looking for good graphic design resources. Muchas gracias.

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