I’m no critic, but…

April 14, 2008

I started off my weekend going to see The Country Girl, Morgan Freeman was excellent, as was Frances McDormand, but I expected them to be magnificent.  It was Peter Gallagher that really impressed me… I’ll admit, it’s not that I had low expectations for him, I had NO expectations for him.  He turned out to be very, very watchable.  Unexpected highlight of the night, around the third scene the curtain stopped short of revealing the stage.  We sat in the dark for about a minute before the stage manager came over the God mic and said, “We’re having technical difficulties, please bear with us.”  Another 2 minutes go by and the house lights start to raise.  The speakers crackled back to life and a new voice greets us, “This is your director, Mike Nichols,” applause, applause, applause.  “Considering the circumstances, you are far too kind.  We have broken a winch backstage and we are working to fix it.  It will take some time and you are all fantastic people and we thank you for understanding.  If you have cigarettes or drugs… do them.  We will get going again as soon as possible.”  So that was fantastic.

Saturday night I saw A Catered Affair, not so much the magical evening.  I will say there was a moment that struck a chord with me… Tom Wopat’s song, “I stayed,” was the only moment in the show I saw a real fire, he really connected with something and it was beautiful.  Everyone who saw the show that night (as is the case with any show), had a different experience.  I can only speak for myself and my opinion of the entire production was that it just wasn’t for me.  I felt the same way about Patti Lupone’s Gypsy and that’s getting rave reviews… so you can’t really trust me.  It may just be that I saw August: Osage County a couple of weeks ago so everything will pale in comparison.

Now that I’ve talked about Broadway shows, you’ll forgive me if I post something vulgar to reassure everyone of my sexuality.  Woo boobs!

Kelly Monaco, and Karen McDougal are two of my favorite playmates of all time. Not that I have favorites… not that I do anything but read the articles in Playboy… not that I read Playboy… aww to hell with it, they’re really hot ok. Though a list like this seems strange because if they were in Playboy it’s kind of old news… but I guess this way you can see how they move:

Top 10 topless playmate scenes from movies

(Concerning the above… those of you who judge me for questionably dirty links like that need only look to the bible; Solomon 1:13 – ” My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh, that lies between my breasts.” Since myrrh is perfume, I believe they are referring to the natural scent of a woman… therefore God like boobs… and so doth I. Proverbs 5:19 “… may her breasts satisfy you always.” Take your grievances to Him not me.)

What happened to you opossums? You used to be cool. Stupid evolution making creatures less awesome since the dawn of time:

6 Creatures ruined by evolution

In case you thought smear campaigns were a new thing… Radar has uncovered some horrifying campaign posters from yesteryear:

Abe Lincoln goes both ways

There was only one on this list that I didn’t recognize, but Mr.Tarkanian needs a spin-off movie ASAP. I didn’t like Semi-Pro… but I’m still a fan… :

15 Best Will Ferrell characters

If you have never heard of Mitch Hedberg go and Netflix him or buy his CD right now… he was an amazing stand-up comic. He passed away last year and is still very missed:

Mitch Hedberg random quote generator

Fox came out with this list … I just want to address number 8. While it’s true are manhood can take quite a bit of manhandling… do not test it’s limits… because if you break it… that’s it … it’s done… we only get the one:

8 Sex Myths You Shouldn’t Believe

Maybe it’s just because my coffee hasn’t kicked in yet… but I was mesmerized by this bizarre clip:

Gollum and Smeagol sing Berry White

This list absolutely nails 2 things, one; the inclusion of Garland Greene from ConAir if not solely for the line, “I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat.”  (The only way this line could have been better is if you substitute the word pelvis for head).  Secondly, the inclusion of Gary Oldman.  Period:

20 Craziest Bastards in Film

I’m one of those guys who acts all nonchalant when the ball actually goes into the pocket… as if it’s totally what I expected, so this guide isn’t for me, but maybe some of you can make some scratch:

Pool Hustlers Guide

1 part truth, 1 part asshole little brother, this kid has a career in investigative journalism ahead of him… in the butt:

Girl busted by mom and little bro after “myspace” date

Whoever started this whole Rick Astley thing on the internet can be happy now… it has reached it’s apex… Tay of Chocolate Rain fame has done a cover:

My weekly, “product that I think is a good idea, but not really so much that I would actually purchase it.”:

Bowl with a spoon rest

Smart people are awesome, this guy has come up with two pretty amazing ideas using the technology of the Wii:

Wii remote hacks


One Response to “I’m no critic, but…”

  1. sweet tea said

    My favorite thing about theatre is how different each persons’ experience is.. after saying that, though, I agree with you on Gypsy as well as one of the best moments from “..Affair”

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