Nerd-like at best

April 15, 2008

Last night I was at a gala honoring Angela Lansbury.  She was the sweetest, most gracious, luminous human being I’ve met in a very long while.  If you ever get a chance to see her doing live theatre… go.

I’ve stated before that while being a huge nerd… I never got into Star Wars or Trek… but I’ve recently decided after reading an article about William Shatner’s classical training background… and with Patrick Stewart in town doing Macbeth… I want to mount a Shakespearean production using anyone who has ever been a captain on Star Trek. I’ve decided Hamlet would be the best one. Shatner would be Claudius, Stewart would be Polonius, Bakula as the Ghost of Hamlet’s Father, Mulgrew as Gertrude, by default this Chris Pine kid who’s playing Kirk in the new movie would have to be Hamlet.

The fact that I actually #1 – Had this idea. and #2 – Put this much thought into it has raised my “nerd quotient” at least 50 points. I apologize. To my readers, my girlfriend, my mother, and anyone else who is hurt by this.

All that speculation is because I love trying to cast properties with the best celebrities for the job. I’m not the only person who does this:

Ideal casting for Mike Tyson’s Punchout: The Movie

Women will go to great lengths to stay beautiful… and God bless them for it… but ladies, I don’t care if it makes you radiant beyond anything I’ve ever seen… if you’ve just had a tall glass of this, don’t come looking for a kiss from me:


In the same realm of insanity… this site is a little naughty but then again how could it not be. Don’t worry ladies, the street goes both ways, if either one of us are wearing this, there will be no love connection:

Vulva scents

Speaking of creepy… what if Homer Simpson were a regular three dimensional Joe? Caution… might cause nightmares:

Real Life Homer

Speaking of Homer… I need to make vacation plans soon… and though I was there less than a year ago… Universal Studios is back at the top of my list because I will need to go for the opening of this:

Simpsons Ride

The future is just about here… as if it’s not bad enough we think people are talking to themselves until we see the telltale headset, now everyone will just look insane:

Bluetooth for your tooth

New bluetooth crap, that’s what we care about in this country. Meanwhile… in the news from around the world… take a look at this girl in Yemen whose father told her to marry a 30 year old man or be raped… the girl is 8. Tell me we wouldn’t be better off abolishing religion altogether:

8 Year old seeks divorce

Now that MMA and ultimate fighting is all the rage… boxing has lost some steam… but this reminds me just how awesome boxing can be:

Compilation of the greatest knockouts in boxing

Okay… they have released so many clips, I’m starting to feel like I’ve already seen the movie… I WILL still see the movie mind you… I’m going to go out on a limb and say probably more than once:

You know I used two forms of the verb, “see,” in the last sentence alone. Everyone has heard the philosophical pondering that the color green to me might not be the color green to you. What I have never thought of though is what the word, “see,” means to a blind person:

Blind children and the meaning of, “see.”

The Wall Street Journal was kind enough to draw a graph in case you are illiterate and unaware of how bad the situation is (which considering the situation, you might well be illiterate, in which case you aren’t reading this):

Presidential approval ratings

Flash games are getting more and more impressive. I still can’t actually play them… but I am none the less inspired by the technology to produce them… but this is mostly because I grew up playing Burgertime on Intellivision:

American Dad vs. Family Guy Kung Fu Hyper Mega Edition

Damn it… and I’m still here:

The Rapture happened a few weeks ago


2 Responses to “Nerd-like at best”

  1. Tim said

    Where to begin? Let’s work backwards. Tom Delay resigned from congress two years ago, so the rapture thing is puzzling. Interesting that his nemesis, Bill Clinton, is the only pres to have a higher approval rating leaving office than when he arrived. Blind children can’t see shit, even I know that. Can’t they make that blue-tooth white? Or do we all need to look like we just ate the biggest poppy seed bagel ever? And finally – the Simpsons ride is my new reason for living. And I live two minutes away from it. Hooray!!

  2. sweet tea said

    50? at least 73. (you know me and odd numbers)

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