I’m a little nauseous

April 17, 2008

I came in to work this morning and I hate to sound girlie… but I am seriously so bloated my pants don’t fit correctly. My stomach is doing somersaults and I just don’t feel, “right.” I’ll leave it at that. Well… my boss just arrived having had an epidural yesterday because he threw his back out. One of the ladies in my office says, “tell us all about it!” Yeah, that exclamation point belongs there… she said it with that much enthusiasm. I pleaded, “we don’t need to hear the details~” (I put the ~ there because I needed a place holder for a punctuation that doesn’t exist yet. The opposite of an exclamation point, it ends a sentence in defeat) I was met with her rebuttal paired with a dirty look, “I’m interested.” Fabulous, because she’s interested my boss must now go through the process from cleaning the area straight through the radiation expanding his spinal column to make room for the fluid. And I am forced to listen.

None of this helped my gastrointestinal situation. I have a long day ahead of me. After work I am working the Catered Affair opening night party. Rubbing elbows with the celebrities in the show I didn’t enjoy all that much. So that’s all very exciting.

Regarding yesterdays American Idol predictions… there goes my record… I think I’m still number one in my fantasy league (Yes, I’m in an American Idol Fantasy League… I’m sorry, without football I get confused) but alas KLC is gone. The crush I had on her died when I started noticing her little mustache, and now her Idol journey has died as well. Time to throw all my good vibes behind Carly until I find a flaw in her. Because if anything the show is more about shallow trait based popularity and not singing ability.

I am already waiting for football season… I really don’t care about baseball or basketball, or what’s that other one… oh yeah, hockey. I never used to be that into football… in fact in the 80’s I thought it was a little gay. I wonder what gave me that impression?:

The untold dangers of smoking… this poor guy working in his office late on a Friday goes downstairs for a cigarette. On his way back up the elevator stalls… he remains in said elevator for 41 hours. I’m fairly certain I would have shit myself… around hour 24 I would have lit up a cigarette and waited for alarms to go off and bring the fire department… i would think after 24 hours they would have forgiven you… this guy instead plays with doors, takes things out of his wallet and has a pretend tea party with them… you can watch the entirety of his ordeal here in condensed form:

41 hours in an elevator

Whoever owns the licensing rights for Jesus’ image is really letting it go to just about anything. These retailers have to realize that 50% of their sales is to college kids own buy them to own or wear ironically:

Ridiculous christian themed products

I scored 70% and I couldn’t be more shocked that I did:

What’s your Obama-IQ?

They have built a library in Bogata literally out of sticks and stones. I think we should go totally retro and we should all go back to wearing loin cloths and clubbing our dinner:

Villanueva Public Library in Colombia

Considering I recently rented Santa’s Slay on Netflix… it astounds me that some film are so bad, they don’t even bother releasing them on DVD (which costs like a nickel to produce):

10 Things so bad, you can’t even get them on DVD

You’ll find it odd that this list doesn’t include me… I was disqualified when no woman interviewed would admit to having sex with me:

7 Astounding Sexual Resumes

(Moving on from famous fucks… ) He didn’t make this list, so it hurts the chances of my dream coming true of a Darkwing Duck live action movie:

10 Famous Ducks

No one delivers bad news like DeForest Kelly:

The reason James Dean remains such an icon is because all the pictures we have of him are cool as shit… because he was a posturing expert:

The James Dean Guide to Bad-ass body language

The concept itself coupled with the execution makes this brilliant:

How many naked Japanese women can you fit in a phonebooth?

Forget Zach and Slater… little did we know… the principal is pimp!:

The Life and Times of Mr.Belding

The commentary on this is brilliant…poor Antwan Jamison… listen for the “oooooo” in unison:

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2 Responses to “I’m a little nauseous”

  1. Faiqa said

    Enjoyed catching up on your blog. Now, let me tell you about the time *I* had to get an epidural…

  2. A list I come up with would have no bearing on the production of a live action movie! I’d never heard of Darkwing Duck, or else he’d have been there. See, I am old enough to be a parent to just about everyone who reads mental_floss. I sometimes miss the important memes.

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