Iron Weekend

May 5, 2008

I had a good audition on Friday, a fun film shoot during the day on Saturday and a great callback for a different thing on Saturday night, and then I saw Ironman on Sunday morning.  It was quite a weekend which is probably why I passed out on my couch at around 5, woke up at 830 and went to bed by 10 last night.  Ironman… definitely worth it… fantastic… not that I need to tell anyone because it pulled in 200 million worldwide (half of that domestic).  I almost died at the movie theater.  Evil woman at the counter upsizes my drink for, “only fifty cents,” 2 hours later I’m trying to watch the credits (spoiler alert, skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want to know) waiting for the hidden cameo at the end by Sam Jackson as Nick Fury.

My bladder was actually full to the point where if I lifted my leg above a certain height the pressure made me feel as if I would rupture.  I waddled out of the theater, up the stairs and straight into the restroom where I pee’d for more than 2 minutes straight.  That is at least 120 seconds of urination.  I know this because I reached one hundred by the time Rich got to the bathroom and I couldn’t help but giggle at the fact that he had been sitting when I was out the door of the theater and was still peeing by the time he leisurely had made his way in.  At this point I realized standing at a urinal while holding your equipment and giggling may be the most socially inappropriate thing I’ve ever done.

Easily the greatest project since monkeys that look like George W. Bush:

Cats that look like Wilford Brimley

I’ve never been to an OBGYN… ok once, but I remained in the waiting room. Apparently some of them are lacking what would we call, “bedside manner.”:

Gynecologists say the darnest things

Perhaps I only find this funny because I spent a few hours this weekend wreaking havoc on the denizens of Liberty City:

I have on one occasion met a woman whom I was shocked to find out later was in fact a man. Once. Every other time I was aware within 4 seconds of meeting them… for those of you who do not have this skill… Eddie Murphy? Ronaldo? I’m looking in your directions:

Guide to identifying transvestites

There is so much trash on youtube these days… they allow cursing, and scantily clad women… so of course someone created godtube… this is just a sample of what’s on there… I warn you… prepare to have your mind blown:

Vegetables & Fruits proof of intelligent design … you know, cus they look like people parts

I often wondered while all the children’s cereal mascots clearly have mental problems, it just seems to me that it’s an odd way to sell your product:

Cereal mascot therapy

If you’ve ever looked through the personals on Craigslist (you know for fun… not to actually find a date… that would be pathetic… heh heh… (shuffle feet)) you’d realize it’s really hard to narrow a list down to 10:

10 Most sexually unappealing ads on craigslist

I’m glad Robert Downey Jr.’s career is going to be bigger than it ever was now that Ironman has come out.  He really was the only casting choice… after seeing it, you can’t possibly visualize anyone but him.  How perfect is he in the role… try taking this quiz:

Robert Downey Jr. or Tony Stark

This link clearly isn’t for everyone… especially those at work right now… I don’t know if this would have been better had they really gone at it, or if the fakeness lending itself to g’stringed ass punching is what makes it brilliant:

Womens topless boxing

This ‘Gospel of the Ewoks’ would be a mediocre video at best if it weren’t for the awesome cameo midway through:

Boo to these bastards for putting Rachel Dratch on the list… I’ve met her twice and the woman is actually quite pretty. I only put the link here because I was astounded to learn more about Michael Berryman:

20 Ugliest Celebrities

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2 Responses to “Iron Weekend”

  1. panda said

    Babes… I love you and all, but what’s up with the new obsession with your bodily functions? They get main topic discussions in, like, all of your blogs. Not even just lil’ shout outs, but paragraphs of description. Can’t you just make fun of people on the subway? 🙂

  2. Panda said

    Secret message hiding place:

    I get to see you soooooo soon!!!!! I totally have it marked in my iPhone. And everyone knows, once it’s in the iPhone, it’s a big deal. A BIG deal.

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